Missing you

I find it amazing how much we can miss someone. This is a topic that I don't always delve fully into because of all of the emotion that comes along with deeply missing someone. But lets test out the waters a bit.

Emotion plays such a large role in our lives, why don't we embrace it more? I work to talk about the little things in life through this blog and the underlying message behind most of it is to be connected and aware of the "little things" in life. But what does it mean to be connected or aware? I'm talking about letting yourself see, experience and react to them. This all plays on ethos-- emotion.

But I wonder if some of this comes back to the element of missing someone or something. To be connected with something also means that there is a chance of that thing, that connection to also no longer be there anymore. Anyone who has ever lost anything-- something truly cherished --never wants to experience those feelings again. Why do we get homesick? It is because we miss what we love, what we are connected with. That connection isn't there anymore, or at least not in the same way or with the same intensity that it once was. I think what we miss in live also shows us what we are (or perhaps no longer are) connected with.

People are they very obvious things to become connected with. We were created with a need for others. Can we carry on without people at all, yes, but it is not what we have chosen and that choice has reasons behind it.

So I lead myself into this: if we love with the kind of love I spoke of in my last entry, it is also that much easier to miss.

Missing is not a good feeling. Think of grief. think of how you feel if you've broken or lost a cherished possession. How long it takes to get a child to no longer suck their thumb, try taking a blanket away from someone who has slept with it their entire life. Music from those who spend more hours listening than they realize. The list goes on and on. And the thing about some of these things that we miss, is that it produces a kind of emotion that we are not used to and do not know how to react to. It is often the kind of emotion where we can't really put our finger quite on what it is that is bothering us. Chance are very good, though, that some sort of change has happened and the feeling involves missing.

A person is someone that we invest so much into. Time, money, tears, sweat, work, play, sleep, etc etc etc. With those who have truly touched and found a home in our heart, we give everything we have to them or for them. Now put distance between that person and you. It can be physical distance or it could simply be changes in schedules that makes it more difficult to spend the time you feel in love with having together. You miss them.

Missing someone has so many levels as well. Maybe what you find yourself missing is someone that truly hurt you. Not only do you miss the connection you had but you're also conflicted because of the presence of the scar from the hurt that happened. Or maybe it's the opposite, you lost someone you never expected you would lose. Missing someone will bring us to tears at the drop of a dime. Sometimes it slams into you an invisible brick wall. It takes you and shakes you until it feels like everything inside you has been flipped upside down and turned inside out. You don't just miss the person but you miss all of the pieces of their life that you are a part of. Something simple, like saying goodnight before bed. The look they have right before they give you a hug. Their smile. When you have someone who shares in your live with you, truly shares in it, when you miss them you also miss that part of your life where you get to share it with them. Truly sharing your life with someone is one of the most amazing life experiences.

Looking at the words that are laid out here, a lot of what we miss are the simple things. They say you don't know what you have until its gone, I think that this is because we don't look at the little things. The little things are the things that we end up missing in the end-- the fact that you can always call, the ability to give a hug, someone's smile and the sound of their voice. When they're gone, they leave a huge hole. This is what happens when we don't take them for all that their worth every time we're blessed with the chance to experience them. What, then, when we are taking the chance to notice them?

This is the challenge to all that I write here and all that I live by. By taking that time to notice, appreciate and fall in love with the little things, to be connected, we make ourselves vulnerable to missing them even more deeply than we first loved them. Why love, why notice, why connect when it can be taken away?


I have responses to these questions, but they are all rooted in the same thing. Loving, noticing, and connecting make it all worth it. I am willing to endure the worst in life if it means that I also get to love, notice, and connect. There is pain and discomfort in missing but love is greater than this. When you miss someone it is because of love. When you see this, you can let the love surround you again and fill in the holes that seem to have been left behind.


Now, for any of you Christians out there who perhaps might read this, consider this: God is love. We're talking true love here now, keep that in mind. Is there anything greater than Him? Is it worth loving to experience Him knowing that you might miss it later? And, more so, we miss because we no longer have. And what we no longer have is what we loved, or what has triggered a Godly feeling. When we love, we have gained a connection with God. We miss because our connection with God has changed. Finally, I have said that love is still greater than all else, which leads us to the reality that if we hang on to God while missing, He will remain with us and where He is, so is there love. We may miss greater than we knew was possible, but as long as we keep our hearts open to God, He will give us the love we need to fill the holes the missing has created.

What love have you been given today? I know what and whom mine is. And I am truly thankful that love is greater than it all.