Worlds Apart, rolling through me

It is again that I find myself sitting here wishing to write out the thoughts in my mind via blog rather than work on the essay that is due tomorrow. It'll get done...just after this.

I put my rollerblades on with a spur of the moment desire to go for a ride. I stuck the end of my headphones into the input in my phone and started up the pandora application on it. Jars of Clay quickly rang through my ears with their song, "Worlds Apart" Lyrics are as follows:

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=XTq9TtnCe3g&feature=related


I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart


I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
"dull the nails that still remain"
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
"dull the nails that still remains"
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart



I have to back step now.

My first year in college, a friend and I got up every week day morning at 6am and went to work out. I was training for my first degree black belt, and later nationals and she just wanted a buddy to work out with. Our schedules were opposite so 6am was the only time that worked for both of us.

Frequently, I did not go to bed until about 4am that year. We were always doing something (usually having good conversation) late at night.

Regardless, the year progressed and this is what we did. I am not overly sure how I managed to function, but somehow I did.

Fall and winter came and went and spring was finally here. I decided that I wanted to rollerblade each morning for a while instead of going to the gym to do cardio and lift. The first morning, still half asleep, I managed to make it over to Lakeview Drive which is laced by mansions, plush lawns, beautiful trees, and lake Michigan. The road winds around the lake and there is a beautiful hill sliding you down to a series of parks before it takes you into the heart of the city. As my coordination grew and as I became more awake, I reached the top of this hill and this song came on over my ipod.

The sun was rising over the water and the sky was an awe-striking series of oranges, pinks, yellows and just a hint of blue. The clouds remained long enough to greet the sun, tenderly kissing it good morning, and then became lost in the sky. The sun reflected itself in the waves of the water-- it was as though someone had scattered the top of the lake with yellow glitter.

As I flew down the hill, all eight wheels spinning fast, the ending portion of this song came on-- my favorite part of my all time favorite song. The warm wind, warm for the first time in several months, swept its way across my face and teased my hair. I flew my hands out to my sides, my head up to the sky and sung along to the music pouring out of my headphones as loud as the machine would allow it.

At 6am you do not care who is around you or what they might think of you as you allow yourself to be swept up in a moment of true joy-- especially when your year has been long and hard and this is the first time in a long time that you have felt this truly good from the inside out.

My world had been taken apart and nothing outside of that moment mattered.


When I had my blades on tonight, my key off its ring and in my hand, I locked my door and hit play. Worlds apart started working its way into my soul once again and for the five minutes that the song played, I was five years younger rolling down the hill on a perfect morning, praising the fact that I was able to find a few moments peace amongst the chaos.