Passionate Frustration

All day I have been unable to find the music which resonates with my soul. I have put on what I wanted to listen to, what I have been listening to, and considered what I have not yet listened to (more than just a handful of times). None seemed to fulfill my 'music quota' for today. Finally, about twenty-five minutes ago, I put on my "music to sooth the soul" play list and bingo! This has been what I've been wanting all day but couldn't find. And now, of course, I would much rather sit up and listen to this than go to sleep now-- regardless of the fact that my body badly wants sleep. This, though, is not why I came to write. This is just a little piece of my day. My day-to-day. My life with music.


Walking outside tonight, after kids TKD class, the sky looked like the scene on the movie Independence Day where the huge ship is coming over the city, taking up nearly all of the sky. The clouds were so thick and had a estranged, unplanned pattern about them. They were thick and truly beautiful. The sky seemed so low that I felt a desire to reach up and touch it. Or to hunch down a bit, questioning if I should duck. I had forgotten, today, how vast the sky is. One of the beauties of this portion of the state, and it's vast flatness, is how expansively the planes deepen the sky. It is why our sunsets and sunrises are so beautiful and why they stay with us for quite a while, intimately embracing the sky before leaving. It is why we are able to see such rich and inexpressibly pure rays of blue, aqua and...well all the other inexpressible elements present in the cooling evening sky. This too, though, is not what I have come to write about tonight...whops, 12:32am, guess it's morning.


I cannot remember why I found myself frustrated earlier today, but I know that I did. Somehow, my brain jumped from one thought to another until suddenly I realized, or perhaps remembered, rather, that frustration stems from passion. Our first staff meeting of this semester is a prime example of that-- a story for another time.

Ponder that. Think about it: have you ever found yourself frustrated yet unable to connect that frustration back to something you truly care about? Think about it the next time that you are frustrated-- not irritated, not annoyed, not angry but truly frustrated. Why is it that you find yourself in frustration? Is it not related to passion?

This is just the beginning of my thoughts on this. Hopefully-- academics, work, and sickness allowing --more to come soon.