Where does passion stem from?

Last night, in class, I was listening to a presentation and the presenter talked about the passion a woman had for her work and, more so, her students. From this, with time, I'm sure I will write several entries. One element, though, stuck out strongly for me-- something which has been on my mind thoroughly for the past (June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January, February, March, April...) eleven months and a little more: Where does passion stem from?


You are about to learn a lot about me.


I am,
here and now,
sharing it,
which does not always come readily,
with you.

Publicly.


Passion has always been a large part of who I am. It drives me. It has determined, several times over, who I am and who I want to be. Passion is one of the most inspirational things I have ever encountered, if not the most inspirational. It has been this way my entire life and I rest knowing that this will always be the case.

Where, though, does it begin?


Life is not always fair. How often do we avoid this thought? Frequently-- I would be surprised to hear otherwise. Is unfairness something to avoid thinking about? Perhaps. But what I think about here is the sermon I was able to listen to online which my pastor gave this past weekend, at Epikos church in Milwaukee Wisconsin, 4-11-10. I have the link posted below-- please feel free to listen to what I miss so dearly... Rock on Danny Parmelee!

http://epikos.org/media/online-sermons.php


Danny speaks in a way to relate the word of God to the every day lives of the people around us in the here and now. He has a particular focus on college students, but our church was not limited to this. He channels God and allows Him to speak through him. I cannot fail to believe this when I hear Danny's passion when he/He speaks. He recognizes the realities of life-- he's lived many of them --but he also recognizes the realities of God in a way that I will forever refuse to deny. And he recognizes that sometimes life feels unfair. This is what he says:

"...well the Bible also talks about being a fool for Christ. [...'In I Corinthians, chapter 1, it says it in there a bunch of times'...] and it's centered on the message where it says that the message of the cross is foolishness to the world. That means that the gospel, the good news of Jesus, is foolish; it doesn't make a lot of sense.
Have you ever caught yourself saying, life. isn't. fair? This. isn't far! Do you know what? The good news, the gospel of Jesus Christ, the forgiveness of sins.. is. not. fair! You don't deserve it! You didn't do anything for it! You're not good enough for God, and yet, because of His grace, He chose you! Because of His grace, He allowed His son to be crucified for you!
And so because of that foolishness, that is offered to us, those who believe also respond in foolishness. [...] for Christ. [...] That no matter what the fear is, what the risk is, what the embarrassment is, that you would take that step of faith, that you would walk through those doors. That as Christ calls us into relationship with God, the Father, that He calls us to be His ambassador. [...] That we are then called to be the very body of Christ. But do you know that God, in His own foolishness, has called you not only to be His sons and daughters, but for something even greater than building a city [for Christ]? [...]

But what about the things in your own life? [...] and ask, 'God, are the things that I'm actually concerned about, concerns of You?' [...] How might we respond to God?"


I want you to think about everything but what may sound cliche in this message. Choose to refuse to tolerate the stereotype. Keep reading.


Life. Is. Not. Fair. But you know what is not fair? That Jesus died on the cross for us. Jesus was perfect! Literally! He was perfect... and yet He died. Not just died, He was killed. I cannot think of anything more unfair than this.


How is it, then, that I can believe in God so fiercely when unfairness surrounds me? How do I find passion in life when the realities of trials surround me? (This is another entry-- read Job (in the Bible). And read "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Harold Kushner)


Did you know that satan was an angle? God created satan. How does that make sense? God created evil? NO. I did not say God created evil. God created angles and the world and life. God took, and continues to take chaos and turns it into something good. But think about when you have been in moments of chaos. How much of it can you control at any one time? Only certain elements of it, you cannot control it all at once. You have to choose which elements you will control, alter so that you are able to produce something positive from the chaos. But with the elements that you are not able to alter, the chaos remains and often times reeks havoc. Nothing more can be done other than doing what you can to pull as many positive (good) elements out of the chaos as you possibly can.

This is the role of God. He is all knowing-- imagine what that would be like. He knew when He created the world that it would be complete chaos. He knew that with chaos would come elements that even He could not control (can you believe that?!). He knew that evil would live within the chaos. But He also knew of the great goodness that would come with His creation. 'The good far outweighs the bad.'

(P.S. Apparently I lied, I writing the entry I thought would wait for later now, in addition to the one I started out intending to pour out)

When life is unfair, the elements of unfairness (trials, death, terminal illness, etc.) are not God.
What is unfair is not God.

His word says that He will punish like a parent rebukes their child. But I ask you this, does the "good" parent punish their child without helping the child to understand the reasoning behind which? No. God does not punish us through placing elements of unfairness in our lives. (Kushner)

It took me a long time to come to believe that.
Let me say it again.
God does NOT punish us through placing elements of unfairness, trials in our lives.

God places cars driving slowly in front of me when I'm wanting to drive fast (we're talkin' about 10 over, max, and therefore unsafely) on a back country road. My frustrating in being 'stuck' behind a 'slow' car, in those moments, is God teaching me patience. Him teaching me that I need to abide by the rules of the roads. He is teaching me like a parent teaches a stove is hot while cooking to the child who nearly touches it. He wants me to be safe. He loves me, He uses His love to teach me.

God did not put trial in my life to teach me.

God did not put trial in my life to make me a stronger person. I have become a strong person because I have faced trial in life. I have gained faith through the FACT that God helps us when we are greeted by trial. God does not give us these trials.


I have another entry that is posted here about finding peace within chaos (titled "Captivating Chaos"). The moments of peace when the world around us is far too much, are the presence of God.

Remember, the world is chaos; God knew its presence would be forever when He created it. But He also knew that He was powerful enough to provide peace throughout the chaos. But what He also knew, with great sadness I imagine, is that evil lives within chaos. Tragedy lives within chaos. What He once created with the intent for pureness and goodness (i.e. an angel) may become chaotic, deriving away from what is good (e.g. satan). And He knew how hard this was going to be for all of us...here, living with it.

So what did He do? He gave us His son. Can you believe that? You have ONE kid, just one. And you give it away. You give it away knowing that it will die after you've given it away.

Life. Is. Not. Fair.
But you know what is unfair? That Jesus died for us. That God gave us His son so that He could die for us.

Why would He do that?!


God is not human.

He can understand us, but before Jesus, He could only understand us as His creation. He could only understand us from the outside in. Then He created His son and sent Him to live on earth as a human. While Jesus was on earth and human, God became one with Him. God was able to experience what Jesus experienced. Jesus lived a human life and it is through this life that Jesus lived that God learned what being human was like from the INSIDE OUT rather than from the outside in.

Jesus died for us. And God experienced death. And God rosevJesus up to heaven, where He was, and He created the Holy Spirit so that a portion of God could remain alive on earth-- 'cause that's what the Holy Spirit is, it is God living (alive) within us.

He feels us. He feels what we feel. He experiences what we experience, because now He knows and understands what it is like to be human. When we cry out to Him, in anger, in fear, in denial, in pure emotion, He knows what we are feeling. He experiences it there with us.

When we ask Him why?, He feels the why too. His anger when chaos causes tragedy happens emanates through us. He is able to transcend His emotion down, into, and through us. Grief is not only our own, but His also.

When we love another, we are a part of Him-- He is love. He is not tragedy. He is what gets us through tragedy. He desires to be with us, to hold us, to carry us when chaos impales His creation.


God has known this world since its beginning. We have not. But, as we continue to live our time on this world, we begin to see and experience more of it. We learn and come to understand, in ways able, the chaos but also the goodness through which. The trials we experience lead us to the experience of moving through and past (is it possible to fully "pass through" and therefore beyond a trial? I am not fully convinced that it is) trials. We experience what it is like to smile when you never thought you could feel a smile spread across your face again.

We experience the "little things" which help us to see and realize why God still went ahead and created all of who we are and what we have when He knew that doing so would also mean chaos-- trial. We see that life can be unfair, but we learn the good and how to hang onto it through the chaos.

God emanates His emotion through us and we feel greatness and love. We see that what we have, when we have it, is something to be cherished. We know how quickly it can disappear. We learn to be captivated and to allow ourselves to experience, knowing the possibility for hurt/unfairness/chaos yet relearning again and again how to push beyond that knowledge and risk it for the possibility of what is good. To be foolish for Christ.

It leads us to desire to find greatness in everything. Which, for me, is the same as a leading desire to witness God in every moment.

An understanding of what is-- chaos and it's opposite --leads to a deeply seeded desire, passion, for life. For the life that pushes through chaos.

Passion, then, stems from an understanding of what is, what has been and what can be. Passion stems from the way God has and is moving in our life. Passion is God's desire for us, as His creation, His children, to have and live greatness. Passion is His desire to be with us. Passion is His desire for us to be with Him. Passion stems from God's presence in the world He has created for us.